143.
No, not I love you. Although I do.
143 is the weight I saw when I hopped on the scale yesterday, meaning I’ve gained about five pounds.
I mentioned it to a friend at happy hour last night and realized when I said it out loud, that really, five pounds isn’t all that much. And it’s not. And it still puts me in a healthy weight range for my height.
But considering that I put on a lot of weight in my early 20s by “eh, it’s just five pounds,” over and over again, I want to nip any weight gain in the bud. I know it’s a slippery slope for me.
I also stubbornly thought that once I’d beat that weight-loss thing, I’d be done. I say stubbornly, not naively, because I know how biologically hard it is to lose weight and keep it off. But I was—and still am—determined to not be that statistic.
139 was my goal weight of a 50-pound weight loss, and for the past two years, I’ve been hovering somewhere between 136-139. 140 was the line I drew in the sand for the weight I wouldn’t surpass.

Gratuitous beach photo to break up otherwise serious post.
If I were otherwise happy with my body right now, I’d care a lot less about that number on the scale, honestly. But the number on the scale and the unhappiness about my flabby abs is obviously directly correlated. I also went to put on a pair of jeans for my New Balance event the other night and a few pairs of my jeans were way too snug to comfortably wear. I felt like a fraud representing a fitness brand when I didn’t feel so fit myself.
I’ve been making a real effort to clean up my meals, but I know exactly where the other calories are sneaking in—and what’s lacking.
In pretty list format:
Sneaky Calories:
- Lattes/soy mistos: I feel like dieting healthy eating 101 is not to drink your calories, right? And I know better than to get all those sugary “coffee” drinks or drink soda or other sugary drinks, but there’s a Starbucks in my office building, and their regular coffee is way too strong for my weak jerk of a stomach, so I’ve been getting soy lattes or soy mistos in the morning. Yum, but each of those have 100 calories or more.
- Nuts. Okay, duh, nuts are high in fat/calories, but they’re good fats, right? Well, no good-for-you food (except maybe lettuce?) is good for you if you eat too much of it. I have no concept of portion control when it comes to nuts, and I remain especially powerless in the face of my favorite trail mix from Trader Joe’s—the almonds, cashews and dark chocolate one. I have a thing of almonds at my desk at work, and until last week, I always kept a bag of that trail mix in my fridge, and I graze mindlessly at both.
- Dark chocolate: I always have a thing of dark chocolate in my fridge, and I will walk past and break off a square without thinking.
- Wine: I love wine (and beer), but after a glass or two, I’ve been having a hard time saying no to bar food.
None of those things above are that bad on their own (err, except for maybe bar food), but combined, quite a few more calories are sneaking in.
And the below are lacking:
Greens. I just don’t have enough.
Fruits. Again, I just don’t have enough. Nuts aren’t a bad snack, but they would be more balanced if I had some fruit with them.
So, here’s to more fruits and veggies and less drinking calories and letting the small indulgences add up.
If you’ve lost a lot of weight, have you been able to keep it off?





























































